Fears of a Sudden Death (Meditation Transcript)

Listening to my heart beat - swish, swish - in the night, I am suddenly

filled with fears of dying.

What if I am dying?

What if I die?

Who will take over all that I've been working on?

Who will work through the mass of papers and projects on my desk?

Who will think that anything I am involved in is still important?

All these questions course through my brain. What IFS!

Who will take care of my beloved dog?

Who will love her the way I do?

Will she still be able to feel my presence? Will she feel abandoned?

Could she see my aura? Dogs often look up and away as if they see someone or

feel their presence and start barking.

Will I be able to communicate with her? 

Or will I feel frustration that I can't get my messages across to loved ones

on the Earth plane?

So many thoughts. So much emotion. FEARS floating in and out.

How can I possibly complete everything I've started? May be I need to get

real with myself and prioritize better? Doesn't it all come down to - What

do I love?

Well "they" certainly won't find a dustless home I think; or always freshly

washed floors.

What do you worry about if you were suddenly to die? What are the themes

that arise on your sleepless nights of fearing the inevitable?

Our mortality is not a common theme for discussion. Consequently, our fears

have to sneak up on us. Catch us while we're sleeping, or wakeful needing to

sleep. Catch us when we suddenly have a bit of silence to enjoy.

I believe we never truly graduate from our fears. Fears might not be about

losing our own lives but more about being left behind; being abandoned.

Envisioning disasters. Or may be losing loved ones. Or what is found that we

have left behind undone if we were to lose our own lives.

Fearing is part of life. And, as we gain control over our mind chatter - our

What-ifs, we can put fears to rest. Reduce their power over us. Let go by

asking ourselves - So What and What Then and May Be bringing in options that

never crossed our minds before. I find if I get up and write them down, I

can move through them more quickly. I can come back to the presence of now

and remember - I am fearing something that hasn't happened or isn't

currently real. 

I can plan ahead new scenarios of how I would act. I can take back my power;

become present, and breathe through my most frightening scenarios.

If, I remember I am the creative one thinking these things up; I can

sometimes laugh at myself, release the fears and hit the "refresh" button

within.

What I can't do is expect to never be fearful. Fear is a part of life. Maybe

it wakes us up from taking life for granted. Maybe its job is to make us

appreciate more deeply the time we have left; or the time we have left with

loved ones.

I am suggesting to myself - Let's cherish life and make a commitment to

continue to love no matter which side of the veil I'm on.

Won't you join me?

by Kathryn Lafond

To listen to the meditation, go here.

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