Do we ever graduate from our fears?

In this graduation season, we here at EdgeWalking asked ourselves: do we ever graduate from our fears? Does one fear get resolved only to be promptly replaced by another? Is fearlessness a sign of human development achieved? And if so, what would that look like in our everyday lives, our relationships, our work, and our play?

We are always on the cusp of something new, whether we are young adults leaving high school or completing a college degree program. We are always evolving into a new life stage, accompanied by often challenging, even frightening, new experiences that we move through on our journey. If we try to control every aspect of every outcome, to remove the surprise, the fear, and the pride of facing a challenge and surmounting it, are we really gaining control of our fears?

In the work we do at the EdgeWalking Collective, we confront fears daily: those of our clients, and those within ourselves. We encourage people to face a fear, talk about it, plan for it, and meditate on it, so that they can eventually integrate it into their lives. We have various tools we share to ease these burdens, including meditations, long lists of book-based resources, art projects, legacy planning, and good old-fashioned empathetic, active, compassionate listening.

The diverse ways in which we work with our fears are similar to how we approach working with grief. Grief is not something to be "gotten through" or completed; it is one of humanity's strongest emotional responses, and deserves to be integrated into our being and our experience. If we approach grieving and having fears as a unique part of the human experience, we should grow from the experiences. Fears remain a crucial element of living in the human world, with all its beauties, anxieties, loves, worries, and challenges.

We would be remiss if we didn't admit to having fears ourselves; we are far from immune to this very human experience. Sitting beside people at the end of life as they name and work with their fears is a true honor, and we are proud to witness this work. We are continually amazed and humbled to accompany people through this oftentimes challenging yet rich and rewarding process. The "aha" moments, the epiphanies, the quiet acceptances and resignations: all of it is part of working with and integrating fear into our being.

So we'd like to propose a slightly different way to relate to this season of graduation. Maybe it isn't an end, or a beginning, but a marked moment in time that acknowledges the work of the past and then invites us to step into the next moment, the next period of our lives. Fear is an integral part of all beginnings and endings. As Pema Chodron says:

"Fear is a universal experience. Even the smallest insect feels it. We wade in the tidal pools and put our finger near the soft, open bodies of sea anemones and they close up. Everything spontaneously does that. It's not a terrible thing that we feel fear when faced with the unknown. It is part of being alive, something we all share. We react against the possibility of loneliness, of death, of not having anything to hold on to. Fear is a natural reaction to moving closer to the truth." — When Things Fall Apart, Pema Chodron

We honor the opportunity to meet with you and your loved ones to discuss any fears you are facing as you deal with a terminal illness diagnosis, a health setback, the loss of someone close to you, the worries of getting older, or anything else that makes you the lovely human that you are. Reach out now; our 15-minute free consultation is our welcome gift to you. Welcome to your fear. Let's dig in.

by Danielle Gordon

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To connect with our collective: http://edge-walking.com / 206.825.9780 / edgewalking.transitions@gmail.com